For those of you who don’t know, Golden Key is a society where the invitation-only membership is given to the top 15% of students academically. I made the mistake of joining it in 2nd year, wasting some $70 of registration fee, because of a misplaced sense of accomplishment when I got an invitation that started with “congratulations!”.
Long story short, I have not attended any event or did anything at all with the membership since I signed up. The organization seemed highly pretentious and juvenile at the same time. Pretentious in that the members share a grandiose delusion that they are superior than other students, and juvenile in that people collect points when they attend events. Earn points! I haven’t earned points for good behavior since I was 8 and could earn points for practicing piano. 10 points = 1 sticker. 10 stickers = $10.
Anyway, GK had been largely just a bad memory in the background that spews out an occasional spam about a launch BBQ (the attendance at which will earn you 5 points!), until today, when an unfortunate girl, probably fed up by getting the BBQ spam year after year, replied that she wanted to be removed from the mailinglist. Unbeknown to her, spamming the mailinglist about getting off the mailinglist would set off a chain reaction: people who also wanted to get off the list replied “me too”, and people who were originally patient with these spams got impatient after dozens of these “me too”‘s and wanted to get off, so the “me too” spams grew exponentially. Compounding these are 1) people who think they are smarter spamming the list the ways to properly unsubscribe (and these instructions grew more and more hostile as people continued to spam the list with “me too”‘s, and soon the top 15% of UBC students started to call each other stupid), 2) people who think all of these are funny spamming the list how they thought it was funny and posting cat pictures (no joke), and 3) the “proper way” to unsubscribe actually doesn’t work, so there was another wave of spams telling everyone how it actually doesn’t work.
My solution? Create a filter and make any message with the phrase “golden key” skip my inbox.
But I do think it was pretty funny and had to resist the temptation to spam everyone something witty…