Not knowing much about marriage besides family and friends’ families and Hollywood, I learned something interesting recently. Maybe you will be surprised like I was.
The “lightning marriage” is a term that we use to describe marriages that happen very quickly following a relationship. Prematurely, even. It carries a critical connotation, accusing the couple of not taking the marriage seriously. Imagine a couple dating for a few weeks, and then deciding to get married. Perhaps in Vegas.
The implication is that: only people who don’t care about making a mistake and getting divorced would so carelessly get married. (NB: I’m not suggesting that all divorces are due to careless marriages, or that fast marriages are all mistakes. I’m just saying that if two people get married before they are ready, then they accept the higher risk of regretting this decision later.)
However, recently a friend of mine who has perhaps seen his girlfriend less than 20 times decided to get married next year. Or, more appropriately put, it was decided by both sides of the family that they should get married.
You see, they believe that to date is to love, and to love you must be married.
And since there is practically no chance of them breaking up (by adaptation, communication, patience, endurance, and whatever-else-it-takes, they will stay together), why not get married?
That led me to wonder: “That makes a lot of sense… so, what is everyone else waiting for?” (Besides logistical reasons, of course)
Waiting to find out if it’s the right person to spend your life with?
—> Then it means you think the person you are dating right now might not be the right person to spend your life with.
——> Because if it’s not the right person, after you get married you might still break up. Instead of doing whatever it takes to maintain the marriage.
Huh. Isn’t that interesting.
Who knew lightning marriages could be the most committed, the most gong-ho, the most never-look-back marriages?
I concluded that lightning marriages are like: bam! You and me! Forever! Now!
The only difference is: at least for some people, they really mean it.