“How’s going with that girl back home?”
“Nah, it didn’t work out.”
“What? Are you kidding me? You? Didn’t work out?”
“You think I’m some kind of sex god, don’t you?”
“So, what are you gonna do about it?”
“Nothing, man. She gets one chance. Everyone gets one chance.”
I looked at my friend, who suddenly displayed more character depth than he had done in a long time, and tried to understand his “One Chance” philosophy.
I don’t think it was humiliation or anger at the rejection; I don’t think it was apathy of defeat either. He wasn’t the type of guy who feels sorry for himself for things like this. I think it was something deeper. Something more… perfectionist.
He was looking for the right person – the perfect person – and he believes that things cannot be perfect after the rejection. If the girl finds enough faults in him to reject him now, she can only find more faults later. Sure, perhaps she did not find faults in him; perhaps she was bound by circumstances and cannot start a relationship. But if the girl does not find this relationship worthy of sacrifice, then the girl clearly does not feel strongly enough about him. Then this relationship will not have a perfect beginning even if he continues to pursue it.
And the flip side, I think, is that he realized: if he doesn’t feel strongly enough about the girl to throw out his “One Chance” philosophy, then he doesn’t like that girl all that much anyway. He’s not into a relationship that he can do with or without. He’s in it to get it all, or really, nothing at all. Friends, sure. Second chance? Maybe in enough years when it seems like it were the first time.
Or, of course, he might just have been a jerk who sulks like a baby.