Relationship status on Facebook

People joined Facebook for various reasons. Some people wanted to stay connected to college buddies, some people wanted to advertise themselves or their events, and some others simply succumbed to peer pressure. Yet others, at least one of my friends, joined Facebook for the sole purpose of checking the relationship status of a girl he liked. And he pretty much abandoned this whole deal and accused us of trickery when he found out that the girl was neither single nor in a relationship – she simply did not disclose her relationship status at all.
cartoon from

Cartoon by Dave Walker.

This is an increasing trend though, at least it seems like one to me. I myself hid my relationship status a few months ago, and immediately a friend noticed and inquired: “did you really go from a relationship to no relationship in 19 days??” I may add that this friend was probably not close enough to have asked that question comfortably.

“lol… u are watching very closely eh? Nah we just decided to hide the status. In case, you know, someone’s watching very closely :P” was my reply. “How’s going?” I added in an attempt to lighten the mood up.

But she never replied back again. That was last summer. I guess she noticed how uncomfortable her question made her feel. Gladly, hiding my relationship status avoided any more similar exchanges.

But why would people declare their relationship status anyway? Are people really desperate enough to tell the world that they are single? Do a pair of lovers really feel that much more secure or bonded if they declare their relationship? Do people actually search for others who have a “single” status in their network, and use Facebook as a dating site?

From a random sample of 4 friends (yeah I’m that lazy), the only one who’s in a relationship declared so. One of the others declared himself single. The other two hid their status, but I think they are single too.

“Single” doesn’t just mean single, at least not on Facebook. Declaring you’re single means you’re not only single, but you’re also available. Or even looking. Otherwise, why would you declare yourself single?

“I’m single but I’m not looking at this point. Sorry to get your hopes up, man” sounds like a jerk’s line to me.

So, if you are looking, should you put say you’re single on Facebook?

Hm… I would think you must be really desperate. The Single status puts you in a passive position; people seek you out, sees that you’re single, and takes action. Everyone sees that you are single, and everyone is invited to courtship. But wouldn’t it show that you’re wide open, defenseless, and non-selective?

I hid my relationship status when I was in a relationship, and I am still hiding it when I’m out of one. But I could say that it might be easier for us single ppl to hide the status, so this might work like our justice system:if you can’t prove someone is in a relationship, assume s/he is single and attack! XD


3 thoughts on “Relationship status on Facebook

  1. I agree with you 100%. What bothers me more I think is seeing Married and un-married.. and single and what I’m looking for.. it all seems so weird.

    I personally want to put that I’m in a relationship.. so that I an stop getting those ‘Someone thinks your sexy’ applications..

  2. And I’m always surprised by the amount of lesbianism on facebook… I think I have at least 20 friends who are girls and married to other girls… XD

    But more seriously, I feel bad for friends who have to declare that they are Single and Looking for a Relationship. LOL on the sexy applications 🙂

  3. I totally agree with the girl-love fest observation…when I first started facebook I thought those engagements status are for real : P
    I think I know better now (or do I….)

    Reply: lol… I think some of them are real, but really, when there are so many fake ones, what’s the value of putting something real anyway?

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