Dear Liver

Dear Liver,

I know you are a very hard-working, trust-worthy, life-maintaining friend, but please stop metabolizing my Tylenol. As you may have noticed, your boss (me) had gotten a cold – for what seems like the first time in a year – last night. It was an unpleasant sleep without aid of modern medicine; throughout the night I had to get up to drink warm water + let warm water out.

Gladly there’s Shopper’s on Campus, where I got the Life brand ($6.99) cheaped-out version of Tylenol, which had the same medical ingredient and more as the actual Tylenol ($10.49): acetaminophen (analgesic and antipyretic, 500mg), pseudoephedrine hydrochloride (nasal decongestant, 30mg), dextromethorphan hydrobromide (cough suppressant, 15mg) and a bonus chlorpheniramine maleate (antihistamine and sedative, 2mg) for the night pills. I think Tylenol rip you off on the nasal decongestant too (but they have sugar coating!)

But, my dearest liver, even though I got the most bang out of my bucks, all is in vain if you keep metabolizing my precious acetaminophen! I took two pills at 10am, and felt super awesome at 12noon. But you ate up my magic so fast, by 3:30pm, my headache and muscle pain all came back. Took two more pills, and felt ok by 5pm.

Now, I just took another magic acetaminophen pill at 8, which I hope will last till bed time and carry me through my dam biochem report. Please, please stop metabolizing my magic drug… like, take a break and come back in a few hours. No? Ok fine, I’ll just have to put you out with my Vodka then.

Sincerely,

Your boss.

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4 thoughts on “Dear Liver

  1. You….pharmacology nerd…stop talking to your liver…or else I shall call upon the T cell/B cell in your immune system to launch an adaptive immune response against this weird symptom that you have.

    PS. I’m feeling kinda sick recently too…but I get to chill when I go home and sleep early…and you got final exams…what can I say, Co-op is a great program.

  2. oh how I love my science nerdy friends.. they bring such amusement into my life XDDD (oi oi)
    actually, I am jealous that you can talk to your liver in such specific and explicit details, just to think all I can do is apologize to it when I pull all nighters..
    (I will admit that I talk to my bacteria, cells, proteins, programs and computer all the time tho XDD)

    take care!! hope you feel better soon, chicken soup will help! =) (and it’s good for you! =P)

  3. stlc:
    lol… as long as you don’t get them to autoimmune attack my liver. Or pancreas and make me a type I insulin-dependent diabetic.

    Heh, we’ll see who is in the great program in a month.

    小N,
    我的文章那麼幽默, 竟然比不上大衛的留言嗎?哈哈XD
    謝謝你的關心啊… 我現在感冒好像全好了。24小時搞定, 我誠心感謝我的immune system。Thank you, super fast onset cell-mediated immune response 🙂

    ivy,
    LOL. Science makes us cool. Everyone should try talking to their livers and threaten to put them out with Vodka once in a while. It works!
    Aw… chicken soup. I almost went downstairs and cook one of those canned soups. Rez kids = no home love 😦

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